Monday, 30 June 2014


All week I've been in another place. Here, home, but not quite as attentive or engaged as I might be. I'm off exploring the universe again.

When this happens I remind myself (bear with me) of Jean-Paul Sartre who forgot - so deep was he in thought about all things existential - that he was on a bicycle that required pedaling. Ended up in a pile at the side of the road, still deep in thought. Different philosophies (although as a young woman I was utterly consumed by Sartre and de Beauvoir) but a very similar degree of focus.

My home life and relationships may have suffered a teensy bit as a result but I'm happy to say it feels as if there was good cause. I found some truth. Some development of my understanding. And it's got kind of interesting.

Because I'm back looking at reiki again, in that cyclic way I have of 'attract and repulse' with it. The reasons I've walked away in the past have included, in no particular order, charlatans, fakery: 'ancient Japanese system' anyone? (1922 actually), claims that it's 'Tibetan', 'Buddhist', oh and incredibly expensive and exclusive...shall I go on? The usual, human, shadow stuff that goes down. The endless bloody marketing and brand-building around something so simple and beautiful.

But a voice came to me this weekend, as I walked in philosophy, 'So, if what you're seeing here is true, surely that definition of the energy field we all belong to fits perfectly with Usui's ideas around reiki? And all that other business is just stuff you don't need to get all judgey around?'

Well yeah. S'pose.

So I spent some time in reiki. I spent some time in reiki and channeling it for Dooley who seemed quite happy (mind you, he always seems quite happy so don't let that observation sway you). It felt simple and clean and effective and true. Later, as we walked in the woods and I felt deep in the energy field, I chose to allow a sign to come through. No 'how', just 'allow'. Didn't care what it was about, just trusted it would be relevant.

Then this morning I received an email from a close friend saying she was feeling 'the urge' to do Reiki l and what did I think? And she sent a link to the people who would do her training. On their website I found this:

"Usui-Sensei (or Master Usui), as he was called by his students, never actually called his system Reiki.

What he taught was a 3-part system, consisting of meditation, principles for everyday life, and the cultivation of spiritual energy, that he simply called "My method" or "My method to achieve personal perfection".

Mikao Usui brought the world nothing less than an amazingly straightforward system to achieve enlightenment."

Well okay then.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014


In it

Early this morning I stood in an already very warm field while the dogs trotted off to explore and do what they do. Birdsong, sheep, the jingle of ID discs on collars - that was all I could hear. The sky was bright blue and everything smelled so 'green'. Then I realised I'd forgotten my phone so I couldn't take photos and then I realised I didn't care. That's what 2014 has been about for me. Returning to life in the flesh, blood, mess and mud, and it's been wonderful. I'm still taking pictures and instagramming. I still spend time online. But I am finally getting to a place where I no longer think of everything that happens as inspiration for something digital. That was an issue in me, not the internet. I was responsible, so I made a change.

As a member of the generation that has lived the trajectory from a black and white telly and a phone on a party line, to now and device-o-rama with no sign of the journey slowing down anytime soon, I make no excuses for standing in permanent wonder at technology. I adore it. It is magic. But sometimes a field full of wheat, two happy dogs, and swallows circling your head beats it all.

Photograph Not Available.

Friday, 13 June 2014

A turning point

It's Solstice. The turning point as the year takes a slow curve away from the sun. In the past it would make me sad to reach this point. Sad, because SAD. This year I'm happy with it, mostly because I had a wonderful winter. I've begun to live with the seasons, not against them and it's changed everything, especially my emotional calendar.

So here we are at half-point. Here in England summer is only just beginning and July and August are usually our 'good months' if we get any. Today is perfect: sunny with a cool breeze and the odd high cloud to give a shade break. I've been gardening, reading, sitting under the trees chatting with my mother. Later I'll take the dogs to the woods and the stream.

There is a feeling of ease I'm staying open to. It takes constant returns to centre to stay on this path but the effort - such as it is - is entirely worth it. I stepped back from the internet in many ways, thinking I would not come back but yet here I am. With a clearer vision of what I want to share.